I let myself be really vulnerable recently, and with people I hadn't met before. Like some of us do on airplanes. We talked about impostor syndrome and, as you can probably imagine, just about everyone chimed in to share their experience with it. 

So let me be vulnerable with you, too, because the experience is what helped lessen the burden for me, the pressure on myself by myself.

• I built a career as a younger person, reaching a height at 35 years I could've never imagined (I wanted to be a designer! a writer! an activist! an artist! a physicist, but CIO?) 

• I built a business from a rebellious idea after being seriously ill for over a year while navigating life with two newly-diagnosed young children with special needs, that won awards and flourished for over 13 years.

• I built a marriage that early on broke to pieces and is now 30 years strong. (My partner Rob should probably get most of the credit here.) We raised those two children and they've become incredible adults, full of humor and beauty and kindness and deep, deep thoughts.

And I've been that designer, writer, activist, and artist.

I know these are big things. So why would I ever doubt my ability to build something new? Doubt my skill? Doubt my credentials? Doubt my age and relevancy? Who am I to think I can? Sound familiar?

I advise clients to be genuine. To be vulnerable and honest in their business, in their branding and marketing. To truly show who they are, despite self-doubt. Why? Because humans are social beings and healthy relationships are anchored in trust. Trying to be anyone other than ourselves eats us up until we can't sleep anymore, and most people smell that performance despite how well-rehearsed and charming we might be.

So please, take a moment to remind yourself where you’ve been and how much you have accomplished. Remind yourself that small steps, particularly when you’re afraid of being embarrassed, eventually add up to giant things. Remind yourself that being a life-long learner makes your expertise so much more valuable as time goes by and that you don’t have to know everything or do it perfectly today.

“If someone wants to do business with you, they want to do business with you.”

It’s ok to say, or even just admit to yourself, that you don’t know everything you think you should know. And if you feel like you’re about to be “caught” for not knowing, gently confront it. If someone, even a potential client, asks about or for something and you feel underprepared or inexperienced, use your professionalism to say as much.

Here’s how to handle it:

1. Let, no encourage, yourself to dream big goals.

2. Be honest with yourself about where the gap might be instead of hoping the impostor feeling will just go away.

3. Make a plan, with small steps, to get the education (self-taught or otherwise) or experience you need and just start working it.

 Do you ever feel this way? How do you handle it? Want to talk about it?

❤ Candice

[Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash]